The subject of this post actually ended up texting James right before I had planned on posting this. She admitted to lying, however I feel as though all of her bullshit will be covered up with more bullshit. So, I've decided to post this anyway.
Lying, we all do it. Whether it's an excuse as to why we're late to work, or about how we're feeling that day, we do it. It's part of human nature, and I get that. What I don't understand, however, is why people feel the need to prey on other's reputations with lies.
Let me elaborate.
In April, an acquaintance of mine pointed me in the direction of a blog post made by my boyfriend James' ex-girlfriend/baby mama, 'Alexx'. The post is basically an extended version of her testimony that she shared with her junior youth. I'm not exactly sure why she even calls this a testimony, when the whole thing is almost literally oozing bullshit. A testimony is, or is supposed to be, a public declaration of truth or facts; not lies or trickery. Anyway, I'll post here the part that defames James:
"Something I've always struggled with is feeling like I'm not good enough, for one reason or the other.
...That way of thinking became a problem when I was in grade 10. The boy I had been dating since grade 9, (We'll call him Dan), started to change. He felt threatened by my best friend, (We'll call him Tom), who had just moved back from across the country. Dan started to make fun of my friends a lot, and even made fun of me. He would look at me like I was dumb for saying certain things, laugh at me when I tripped or messed up, and even convinced me I was only pretty if I dressed a certain way. It got to the point where I believed everything he said. I thought I wasn't a good enough person for my old friends. I thought I was only "cool" if I dressed a certain way and listened to a certain type of music.
(Here she shares her experience at Winker Bible Camp, it was really uplifting, apparently).
...Unfortunately, when I went back home and got into my routine at school after summer, Dan had changed my mind back...
...Dan had me so convinced that I was never going to be good enough for anyone else that I went against everything I believed him, and let him convince me to have sex with him.
Afterward, I was too scared to tell anyone about it for awhile, but finally, I told my best friend Tom, and we had a long talk about it. He helped to convince me that I was too good for that relationship, and that anyone who made me do something I didn't want to wasn't someone I should be anywhere near.
Unfortunately, I was already pregnant.
...But I had the support of Tom through it all. We eventually started dating." Click1 Click2 Click3 Click4 Click5
I was going to quote more, but the overwhelming urge to vomit hindered my motivation to do so. Ahem... To the point.
Below you will find information found and gathered from different websites that Alexx had opened accounts on. I'm sure there's more information to be found, but the purpose of researching had been fulfilled within an hour or so of said task. The information is presented as it was found, and in order to somewhat protect her privacy, I won't post the links to her profiles on said accounts here. Instead, I've quoted what she's stated on her accounts, and have posted a link beside to a screenprint that was taken of such quotes.
Lie #1 - James convinced Alexx she was only pretty if she dressed a certain way/listened to a certain type of music
In her testimony she admits:
"I would change my style of clothing depending on what I heard people saying was cool."
On her Formspring page someone asked:
"Do you have any suggestions on how to tell a guy, that you like them?"
"Hang out with them! Become friends. Make sure you know who they are before you get involved. Pray about it a lot, and then... kinda slowly get into a deeper relationship. Hang out more, or treat them differently than your other guy friends. It's hard. I've dealt with this a lot! But... I did it, and now I'm dating him :)" Click
On her Xanga account (made in 2007) she lists:
"Metal (music), black, being different (actually, conforming to any style is well, conforming), wearing all black, Nightwish, Children of Bodom, DragonForce, Amon Amarth, Arch Enemy, Epica, Fishnets, Combat boots, and Emily the Strange"
in her 'likes' section. In her 'dislikes' section she lists:
"The fact that black nailpolish, skulls, and dark makeup are trendy now," and "When people get the genre of music wrong." Click
In her 'music' section she lists:
"3 Inches of Blood, Amon Amarth, Arch Enemy, As I Lay Dying, Avantasia, the Black Dahlia Murder, Black Label Society, Children of Bodom, Dark Moor, Demons and Wizards, DragonForce, Ensiferum, Epica, Evanescence, Iced Earth, In Flames, Iron Maiden, Kataklysm, Lamb of God, Luca Turilli, Megadeth, Metallica, Nightwish, Norther, Opeth, Pantera, Rob Zombie, Sentenced, Sonata Arctica, and Stratovarius"
as her favourite bands. Click
Also on her Xanga account, she labels herself a 'metalhead', lists her favorite music genre as metal, and shares that she likes shopping at Hot Topic, and Rockabilia. Apparently she couldn't live without black eyeliner, and I guess she had some fishnets she really liked too, both of which are kinda metal I suppose. Click1 Click2
On an old Vampirefreaks account, she created a cult named 'True-Metalheads', designed in order to keep unwanted music genres away. Click
Could it be that she convinced HERSELF she was only pretty if she dressed to fit into the metal subculture? I know James was very immersed in and influenced by metal music at that point in his life, and perhaps she changed her style so she could catch his attention, and ultimately date him. I don't see how that's James' fault.
Lie #2 - Alexx lost friends because of James
In her testimony she states:
"I thought I wasn't a good enough person for my old friends."
In her testimony she admits:
"I struggled with feeling like I didn't deserve my friends because I wasn't funny or cute or good at sports."
And even before that she states:
"I feel like I'm not good enough to be their friend." Click
On Lookbook she answered a thread entitled:
"People gving mean comments about your clothing style IRL/lookbook?"
"...I used to wear a lot of black, and in a small town, that automatically means that you make human sacrifices and eat babies for fun.
Nobody ever said anything to my face, but I did lose friends because either they were scared of me, or their parents wouldn't allow them near me." Click
It seems as though she had friend issues to begin with. As well as this, she openly admits that she lost friends because of the way she dressed. It seems quite obvious to me, that she dressed the way she did to 'fit' into the metal subculture, so she could date James. Once again, blaming James for her own issues doesn't make any sense to me.
Lie #3 - Alexx implies that James had no reason to feel threatened by "Tom"
In her testimony she states:In her Flickr photostream she posted a picture that depicted her sadness over her recent breakup with "Tom".
"...The boy I had been dating since grade 9, (We'll call him Dan), started to change. He became threatened by my best friend, (We'll call him Tom), who had just moved back from across the country. Dan started to make fun of my friends a lot, and even made fun of me. He would look at me like I was dumb for saying certain things, laugh at me when I tripped or messed up..."
In the picture's caption she admits:
"I was so deeply in love with a boy from Grade 8 onward." Click
This boy was obviously Tom, and as she stated earlier, she only started dating James in Grade 9.
On Facebook is a picture of James and Alexx, shortly before they broke up, in November 2008. On her Tumblr she posted a screenprint of a picture on Facebook of her and Tom in early December 2008. The picture of Alexx and Tom is tackily edited to include the phrase: "Through the good times and the bad, I'll always love you." Click1 Click2
It seems clear to me that James had good reason to feel threatened, as Alexx and Tom started dating pretty much as soon as Alexx had broken up with James. And as for the bitching about being made fun of? That's James' way of striking out when he feels vulnerable. Obviously at the time he didn't want to lose her, and so he made fun of her friends in order to possibly steer her away from what he felt he was losing her to. Obviously that was an immature way of handling things, but what can you really expect from a kid in Grade 10?
Lie #4 - Sex between James and Alexx began in Grade 11
In her testimony she says:
That way of thinking became a problem for me when I was in grade 10."
(Her experience at Winkler Bible Camp)
"...Unfortunately, when I went back home and got into my routine at school after summer, Dan had changed my mind back...
...Dan had me so convinced that I was never going to be good enough for anyone else that I went against everything I believed him, and let him convince me to have sex with him."
Her Xanga was made in October 2007, which was the year James and Alexx were in Grade 10. Her first, and only post was made on the day she joined Xanga. She also belonged to only a single blogring, which I can only assume she joined on the day she joined the Xanga network.
Read below for more information.
Lie #5 - James convinced Alexx to have sex with him/the ensuing pregnancy was unwanted
In her testimony she states:
"...Dan had me so convinced that I was never going to be good enough for anyone else that I went against everything I believed him, and let him convince me to have sex with him."
"...Unfortunately, I was already pregnant."
As mentioned before, Alexx belonged to a blogring on Xanga called 'Bundle of Love <3'. If you're not familiar with Xanga, a blogring is basically a group of people who blog about, fantasize, or otherwise share and gather information on certain subjects. This particular blogring welcomes teenagers who are trying to conceive a baby of their own. Click1 Click2
When James and I first started hanging out, he told me about Alexx and his past with her. I knew straight off that he had a child, and that they had given it up for adoption. Awhile after we had started dating, I began hearing some very... disturbing rumours about James. A girl I know finally confronted me about it, saying that Alexx had told her that she had been raped by "the father of her child", over Facebook no less. May I just say that lying about something like rape is beyond pathetic? It's absolutely pitiful, and shameless. I actually have a copy of the conversation between Alexx and the girl, however it is merely a copy and paste version, so I won't post it here. Anyway, after this confrontation, James and I discussed this further. He told me that Alexx had actually been the one to initiate sex between them, telling him that she had figured out her ovulation cycle so they didn't have to use a condom. Before this however, James knew and respected that Alexx wanted to wait until marriage for sex.
On her Xanga she lists little kids, and babies in her likes section. Click
On her Flickr account she posted a picture of her pregnant self, with the caption:
"I absolutely loved being pregnant. Best time of my life." Click (Kind of contradicting what she says in her testimony, no?)
On Facebook, in a group dedicated to encouraging teens to wait until marriage for sex, she left a comment that said:
i totally have the ring that's in the picture!
yay me." Click
The ring Alexx was referring to in her comment, is a ring that some teenagers, who have pledged abstinence wear in order to display said pledge. If it's not obvious enough already, Alexx is a very deviant person. She's not willing to admit to her mistakes, so she covers them up with lies so she doesn't have to. God only knows why she wanted a baby at the age of fifteen, but she knew it was wrong, and so when she got what she wanted she turned on James, and tried to make it appear as though she was innocent. If Alexx actually is telling the truth, I don't understand why she would make a Xanga account, join a blogring dedicated to teens who are actively trying to concieve, and then leave a comment on the wall of a Facebook group dedicated to teens who have pledged abstinance; all around when sex between Alexx and James began. Besides that, her story constantly changes. She's told people that she's been raped, that he tricked her, and that he convinced her into having sex with him, whereas James' story has never changed.
It's these things that drove me to write this. I actually wasn't even going to post this, I didn't want to lower myself to her level of internet fuckery, but I couldn't get it off of my mind. It sickens me to think of her lying so freely to her friends, family, to part of her church, and to random people over the internet. It sickens me even more to think of these people giving her attention, and sympathy for the things that she's lying to them about. All in all, the blog post marked the end of my usually passive behavior, and so I took action. I hope this post at least raises some questions, if it doesn't completely prove her dishonesty.
And Alexx, if you're reading this, I have nothing to say to you except for these things; you are an evil, petty, narcisisstic little girl. If you are the mature Christian you claim to be, tell the truth. Apologize. It feels good, and hey, you might sleep a little better.
NOTE: This is not the original version of this post. The original version was emotionally fuelled, and quite rude. This was not written out of hate for this girl, more or less just anger. I really can't understand how she had gotten away with this for so long, when it is so blatantly obvious that she's lying. If anyone who does know this girl reads this, please refrain from hatemail, or other such activities. This was only written as a call out, not as some difinitive declaration of her personality.